Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
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: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
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She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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