we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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