im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
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do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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