Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize