so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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