I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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