My room smells like vodka and shame
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize