Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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