I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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