shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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