sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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