you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Blood and glitter go together right?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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