I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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