Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize