she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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