Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  i cant believe jose lima did steroids

  (281): View more from Texas

  apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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  (713): i cant believe jose lima did steroids (281): apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball http://tfl.nu/yhdf
  Replies (13) Good night (1607) Bad night (2101)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here

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  (508): Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here http://tfl.nu/nzus
  Replies (22) Good night (3813) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.

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  (703): She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all. http://tfl.nu/qt2o
  Replies (13) Good night (4962) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.

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  (314): There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already. http://tfl.nu/afo0
  Replies (14) Good night (4682) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.

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  (713): Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming. http://tfl.nu/lyy1
  Replies (27) Good night (2719) Bad night (1505) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.

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  (228): I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too. http://tfl.nu/itca
  Replies (15) Good night (4063) Bad night (2226) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.

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  (810): I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago. http://tfl.nu/b9vc
  Replies (21) Good night (4680) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join

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  (772): No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join http://tfl.nu/0bbm
  Replies (2) Good night (2811) Bad night (915) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won

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  (314): Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won http://tfl.nu/r5as
  Replies (6) Good night (3355) Bad night (544)
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  (714): View more from California

  We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.

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  (714): We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%. http://tfl.nu/ldbs
  Replies (7) Good night (1309) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial

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  (406): She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial http://tfl.nu/8xau
  Replies (10) Good night (3285) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.

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  (925): If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living. http://tfl.nu/hoy7
  Replies (7) Good night (838) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people

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  (610): At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people http://tfl.nu/kwkh
  Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.

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  (606): Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK. http://tfl.nu/wl4e
  Replies (1) Good night (456) Bad night (227) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo

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  (405): woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo http://tfl.nu/x6fo
  Replies (2) Good night (1228) Bad night (132)

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