Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize