Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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