OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize