we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize