Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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