So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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