69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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