Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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