I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize