Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize