No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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