I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize