Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
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my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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