My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
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I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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