She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You are the jesus of drinking
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize