i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize