Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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