I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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