If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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