Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize