YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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