So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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