Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize