I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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