we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
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Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
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So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize