I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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