I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
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