Pregnant stripper...not hot.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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