dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize