You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
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