I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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