I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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