4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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