In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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