Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize